Pictures Of You
by Kate Taylor
Summary: I see pictures of you and me together, playing like a movie in my mind. Pictures of you that leave me never. I keep holding on because that's all you left behind.... I'm breathin' in, I'm breathin' out but I'm not alive...


Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not my own but are the property of Wolf Productions and NBC.

Rated: G

Summery: "I see pictures of you and me together, playing like a movie in my mind. Pictures of you that leave me never. I keep holding on because that's all you left behind... I'm breathin' in, I'm breathin' out but I'm not alive..."

**Author's Note: I am writing this one-shot in light of my own imminent break from writing. I've been living through my stories and website for too long. It's time to take a break and find myself. Thanks to all of my reviewers... onetreefan-- thanks for all of the feedback and for being one of my biggest fans :)... weaver61 and obsessedwithstabler-- for following my stories on more than just one website... CriminalCourtGirl89, Rox88, and GirlSummer OhSixRoxx-- for all of the feedback... Special thanks to two amazing friends as well as readers--- To Kay (KaydenceRei), you know I love you girl :) And Essy (Color Esperanza), you always bring a smile to my face. You're both amazing, talented writers... Also, special thanks to Alex, without you, I'd truly be lost at times... And thanks to anyone else that I left out, you all keep these stories coming :)**

**The title of this story comes from a song by the same title used for an X-Files fanvideo I came across. The summary comes from some of the lyrics. I have been unable to find the name of the musicians who made it despite my research on-line. It is however NOT the song by The Cure. If anyone knows more about it, be sure to let me know so that I might give proper acknowledgement.**

--- Pictures Of You ---

The squad room seemed deathly silent as he sat silently at his desk. Unfinished paperwork lay spread across it but his eyes shifted to watch the light rain falling outside the precinct doors.

He leaned back in his chair and futilely tried to rub the sleep from his eyes before glancing at his watch. It was barely 6:00am, he'd been unable to sleep all night and as usual that only meant that he'd now found himself here long before anyone else and long before his new partner. His _temporary_ partner, he corrected himself silently.

That thought caused his gaze to now drift toward the desk in front of him. It was the same desk which had sat across from his for eight years but somehow now, it seemed so different. The unfamiliar pictures and other items served only to remind him of the fact that things had changed and the suddenness of his partner's departure hadn't made it any easier.

Only months before, Olivia had spent some time working in the Computer Crimes division and it seemed like only yesterday that she'd surprised him with her return.

_"What are you doing here?" _He'd asked.

_"I work here." _Her reply had been so simple and he couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief as he'd taken his seat across from her once again.

Things had become complicated and even Elliot was still unsure of what it had all meant. All he knew is that it had never felt better to be able to glance across to her desk and find her there, the way it had always been for the seven years prior. And now, once again, she was gone.

There had been no explanation although after the case they'd just worked on involving eco-terrorists and the FBI, he didn't need one to guess. The call to her apartment leading to a message stating that her number had been disconnected had left him with an empty feeling that he was sure he'd never felt before.

His new partner was working out all right. They were getting along far better than he'd ever expected. But it wasn't Liv...

Reaching into his desk drawer, it was only now that he remembered the picture lying at the bottom. The corners were bent from one to many files thrown carelessly on top of it but he carefully straightened it out. He smiled as he remembered the small surprise party they'd thrown for his birthday a year back. Someone had brought a camera and the pictures had adorned the bulletin board in the squad room for months. He'd managed to steal one off of the board of Olivia and himself without anyone noticing.

His mind wandered back to that day before the tension, before all of the complications in their relationship. He wondered now what his partner had exactly meant that day she'd found him in the locker room not longer after she'd temporarily left the SVU.

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"Elliot, we've been partners for seven years, longer than anybody else here... We needed a change."_

_There was a long uncomfortable pause as Olivia continued to try and find the right words. His eyes never left hers._

_"I'm sorry... I should have talked to you." She'd finally said. "It's just... It's just too complicated."_

Elliot let out a long sigh as he returned the picture back to it's place at the bottom of the drawer. He glanced at the still unfinished papers and pulled them together into a pile knowing full well that he'd never be able to get to them just now.

Ever since she'd left so suddenly, he'd been unable to stop thinking about her and what she might have meant by _complications_. He never was one to talk about what was on his mind, it had been one of the very things which had helped to create strain in his marriage and one of the reasons it had fallen apart after twenty years.

He continued to sit there for a moment twirling his pen subconsciously in his right hand. But, the silence became too deafening to take and he stood to walk toward the front doors of the precinct stopping short of stepping outside. The soft rain had now turned into a downpour.

He rested his head against the glass and although the rain fell hard against the roof of the building, the sound seemed somehow comforting. He remembered how Olivia had once told him that she'd loved the sound of the rain falling against the roof. He didn't know why but it somehow brought a smile to his face at the mere thought of her.

Somewhere over the past year, his feelings had all become a jumble in his own mind and after the Gitano case, he'd found himself more confused than ever. He questioned himself as to whether he was just needing someone after the divorce but the fact remained, he'd chosen her over the job and he'd never done that before.

Unwilling to let his guard down around anyone for fear of appearing weak, he never felt that way around her. In fact, he'd never allowed anyone else to glimpse more of himself than her...

The sound of the alarm on his wrist watch going off alerted him to the fact that it was now 7:00am. Dani would be arriving soon as would everyone else. He took one last glance out into the rain, wondering for a moment where Olivia was and what she might be going through but he stopped short of giving the latter much thought. There would be plenty of time for worry when he got off work and spent the evening alone once again.

He soon settled back down at his desk and gave the paperwork another shot. The sound of the rainfall was soon forgotten as pictures of her continued to fill his mind and the deafening sound of silence again took over. The room would feel empty even hours later, without her there...

"Since I let you in, I can't get you out of this heart of mine. I'm breathin' in, I'm breathin' out but I'm not live..."

- The End -

Kate Taylor


End file.
